You have two cows… in the British Isles

There is an on-going joke around the Internet called “you have two cows” and there is even a Wikipedia article about it.

I think this reflects the way I see the British Isles in an ironic or cynical way.

British Statism
You have two cows.
One is owned by the public sector, the other private.
You cut funding to the public one, and allow the private one award themselves bonuses.
You get the press to report cutting spending on the public one will mean the debts caused by the private one will be cut and the economy will grow so there are more cows.
The media see what you are up to, so you try to regulate them so that you can force them to print a front page story saying what you really want them to say!

Welsh Statism
You have two cows.
They are both owned by an inward investor.
You work for that inward investor, but aren’t paid well.
The business isn’t doing well so the inward investor relocates the business to elsewhere in the EU.
The Welsh Government gets aid from the EU and you get a job advising farmers on how to set up dairy businesses.

English Statism
You have two cows.
They are both owned by the upper classes.
The upper classes think if they pay 1% tax that it will help you in the long run.
The media have told you it is immigrants fault you have no money.
You vote for the BNP as a protest vote and the party you don’t want gets into power.

Irish Stateism.
You have two cows.
One is from the Irish Republic, the other Northern Ireland.
You sign a treaty saying you will share them with both areas.
The nationalists kill the one cow and the loyalists kill the other.

Scottish Stateism
You have two cows.
You can take them to and from England whenever you want.
You don’t want any of the tax paid on the milk to go to England.
You call for independence so you can renegotiate a trade agreement with England and the rest of the world.

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